The THEME is a very WORK in PROGRESS you are going to find tons of things not finished and a lot of glitches. As I said: it's a work in progress.
January 7:41 pm 21

You know what is hilarious and kinda sad? The fact that I just realized that I wish I could hear the Other World tm, just because I don’t have friends with whom to talk in Third Dimension. That’s just pathetic and sad and also, my stomach hurts and my third eye hurt too, making all my head and neck hurt, because I have been, in the last hour; watching the Ships/Elementals or whatever in the end those light thingies were, just hang around  in the mountain that face my window.

BUT, returning to the subject which I was talking about, the truth is I’m also scared SHITLESS of hearing, because of certain things that I know that really… it’s better not to stir the pot and I know that I’m probably being silly, but I have always disliked playing without all the rules and well tough luck, because incarnating this low? You have no many other options… Well, there is also my self-esteem issues and thinking: Who would want to talk to me? But honestly, that sounds too much like self-pity for me to dwell too much in that.

Ok, I have again drained A TON of energy for no aparent reason, so I should stop taking this life so serious and go and take a nap or something…

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Can’t get this out of my head…

January, 21. 2015 9:36 am

So, yesterday I couldn’t sleep, because the energies are going to kill me one of these days, basically. So, in my restless, no-sleep I was pondering, Emigration. Yeah, I know… I should have been thinking about the Universe and all its mysteries, but no luck. Emigration was all that was in my mind… I want to get out of this country, because I can’t stand the people in here, but thanks al lot universe, because today, to make everything worst I find, naively an article that speaks of the people that have Emigrated and only in the UK, that is where I have been called; they are 30.000 of people that formerly lived in this dump.  Yeah, no. I don’t want to emigrate to a country with that many people that came from this… I can’t even call this Hell, because Hell is nothing like the usual acceptation in Earth of Hell. Besides if everything is right, I sort of own hell, so yeah, I would really love to return there. Everything is better than incarnating anyway.

But, we are incarnating and I have to make the best of it, because I hate ‘failing’, so yeah, kind of one of my pet-peeves. But I really, right now, don’t want to go to a place that have another 30.000 of people that are just like the aprox 28.000.000 that lives here. I refuse to go out, just to keep living the same thing, because this resentment I have for these humans would persist and stalk me to the end of the universe. It so much like this, that I could fucking run to the Virgo Constellation and I would land myself in a parallel dump like this one I live.

I don’t even have issues with the world, per se. I think third dimension is UGLY, but yesterday I was watching the space ships going through the space port I can see from my window and I thought, well, for this landscape, I don’t really want to change it. My issue is THE PEOPLE. Ok? I don’t stand people and I know, I’m human too, but fuck that… I’m like a different species of Homo Sapiens Sapiens… I might as well be a Homo Novus, getting in my high horse there right with Sheldon :S  And this is what is fucking my life up, because while I keep myself in the fucking horse the universe will keep bullying me with it! What the hell do you want me to learn about being human? I’m already ONE! I don’t need to keep rubbing shoulder with this. WHICH IS THE PROBLEM, BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.

Fuck me, how is this even my life? But, seriously: I DON’T WANT TO GO ANY-FUCKING-WHERE ELSE IF I AM GOING TO KEEP LIKE I AM RIGHT NOW. *Shudders of thinking about it*.

I really want to go and live in the UK, because that was where Witchcrafting sort of took off, so that will offer me some guarantees that I can develop that side of me, without much issues, but I would much rather go to the Greenland’s. God, live in the Greenland, where Winter is a given? I would live in the North Pole if I could, but I really cannot give the internet up. I don’t want to either!

This predicament is SO STUPID, that I would like to insert here a :First World Problems: Meme, because that it’s what I sound like, right now; a spoilt child that didn’t get the lasted IPhone for its birthday, but an Android.

I love London, I loved every single step of it when I was there, it was really like returning home, but with my luck (that doesn’t exists). The Correlation Laws of the Universe and the Programs/Challenges in my archive, I’m like fucked, because I will keep attracting this sort of people and, let’s say I miraculously get a Karma Houdini and I HAVE NEVER TO FIND ANOTHER ONE FROM VENEZUELA. They are still the eighty percent of the human population that are just unsupportable mundanes… which will just be like falling into the same vicious circle.

Am I making any sense to you? I understand myself VERY WELL  inside my head, but I don’t think I’m making too much sense, while writing these words.

Well, what I said myself last night to allow myself to sleep was that I just need to have faith and believe that everything will just happen in harmony and as well as impossibly could. So, I should just put my head to rest and forget about it.

Also, I’m really upset about the reputation I am going to have in another country, because EVERYBODY hates Venezuelans… seriously, the bad-rep we have is STUPID, of course, I’m an alien, but reputation doesn’t work like that, one look at my passport or my past and things can go south, quickly. I’m working on it, though. [drama queen mood ON] I will go out without that FEAR, even if I lose my life in the process [drama queen mood OFF]

I think I will just keep “praying”. My version of it and trust in myself and the Source that everything will be in perfect order and harmony, because if not; I can feel myself heading towards a break down…

U_Ú

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I don’t even… GAH!

January, 17. 2015 10:40 am

You know what it’s really fucked up? I have the issue where I most certainty don’t care about “Love”, but I also don’t feel ‘deserving’ of it? Which means subconsciously the only thing I want is love? Wait-what? That troll logic of the Universe, honestly. So, this is my first post of the year and I have to say: do you remember the little I wrote about the amazing year this year was going to be? No? Never you mind, because I’m at nothing to take that back. I began to year with a Energy Flu that was the worst-thing-ever, the energies almost sent me through a manic breakdown and not happy with all that, the future is so blurry I might as well do as Oedipus and gauge my eyes with a fork. So, I literally KNOW NOTHING. Yes , YOU KNOW NOTHING JOHN SNOW! LOL, that was the last episode I saw of Game of Thrones.

I was going to speak of my issues with Love and not really wanting it, but neither feeling ‘deserving’ of receiving it? Must be my soul conflicting again. I want somebody whom is very ADEPT at reading the Tarot, yeah, I definitively have one of those, but I want a new perspective and this person already knows me. This stupid shift of Time-Lines is driving me insane. Can we just stay in one time line and be happy? And to the people raising those stupid barriers, STOP! And get a fucking life! It stopped being funny in October.

I have absolutely no idea of what I will do with my life beyond: I will live in London, this life or another… I lie, I don’t think I want to come back to this Earth, EVER. Never say from this water I shan’t drink, because that like a challenge to the fucking Universe, but hey? What can you do? I still have no fucking idea what the Matrix Soul was thinking, but I won’t even be considering this issue an hour from now, so never you mind. The situation in this country is… cannot be called a situation anymore, but a fucking train-wreck. I’m really hoping for the massive bloodshed, the military curfew and everything else that has been promised to explode, but never actually happened. I really don’t care if I’m there with the victim, I just say if you are going to kill me, just do it quickly, why suffering? That’s not part of my personality combo of sado-masochism.

Oh look! There is a vulture on my line sight, that’s my pal Yogi-vulture. Curious, how I never incarnated as a animal, I can’t explain why I cannot ‘relate’ because I can’t find another word to animals, I thought my Matrix Soul issues were directly with “Humans”? I think we have a pretty grave mistake with those stories, would love to know the real one or how I can concatenate everybody. You know what the problem is with all these theories I have managed to composite? That it will always have a human-centric and that’s just ridiculous that such hard ‘war’ for such a stupid principle. Unless the problem was not the “Humans” but I want to be the New God of all Creation? No, I don’t think so. But seriously, I find it ridiculous to have thrown such Temper-Tantrum, because you weren’t daddy’s favourite anymore, not counting that Why Humans? There are out there in the infinite universe, infinitive races… I don’t see what’s the issue with the human.

You know what would be awesome? To read other people’s folklore to see if there is someone else that agrees that humans were to receive a preferential trait in creation, preferable from someone of ANOTHER “ONE UNIVERSE”. Because as far as I heard, we, humans have been nothing but a nuisance to a lot of races out there, but then it begs the questions, why are so many races so dead set to “help us” or “destroy us”? It makes absolutely no sense, unless this is part of a much bigger puzzle, where we just decided to fuck each other, because without conflict there is no life, which plainly sucks…

I was going to speak of everything, but what I am currently writing,  I don’t even have freedom to stay in script. Oh… what the hell?

So, what I’m looking forward for this year?

LIS

See how the fuck the energies will move so I can get out of this country.

See the cluster fuck that is about to come to this country. Let’s slosh in the blood.

Money.

Aaaaaand~ nothing.

ASDDGFHJKLL~~~~!!! Whatever, I’m going to take a nap, because I’m getting nowhere… ASDOJFAODSJFG…

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It’s not

October, 21. 2014 4:51 pm

It’s not that I’m wishing him death. No, I’m serious. It’s just his death will bring a vertiginous change to everything that I cannot wait for it to happen, the status-quo must be broken. It might be my diabolical ascendancy, or something, because of thinking it my blood rush and the adrenaline gets pumped in my system. I know it’s wrong, I know I’m going to regret my words, because reasons, but seriously, the more I think about it (and it’s not like I think about this, constantly) the giddier I get. It might be the psychopath in me, but after YEARS of this feelings of castration, death is the only option to my eyes… sure, he could reconsider and make me free and make everything even, but with me thinking “ain’t gonna happen.” There is only one option that remains…

Well, no… if the future holds, then with money in my hands, I leaving this god’s forsaken life behind to begin with my new challenges… these ones are getting old.

Also, people that thinks that being gay is Satanic and a evil plan for Satan to conquer the world… what the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, I’m infinitely curious to know who the fuck is giving that information and I would like to stop trying to get into my head and trying to change my mind, because I suffer from low self-esteem and sometimes I doubt myself, even if I always have been this way. Seriously, seriously, this attack to my person is getting annoying, but I suppose I just have to weather the attack to my person, until the relationship dies, because… incompatible is not the right word for what is happening. I WANT TO MARRY A WOMAN DAMN IT! I already own hell, what the fuck is the worst that could happen? It’s not a fucking challenge, Universe!

I recently live conflicted and my mind is not helping me. Seriously, mind… you are supposed to be my ally, not hindering me with annoying things that does not matter! The hell that anything of that is going to help me to sort through my 3D life and fuck it… these days I’m hoping that Nietzsche was right and fuck souls and creationism…

I want a friendship that cannot be screwed over, at least in the spiritual realm… because this new group, Jesus Christ, metaphorically. I can’t live like that. *sigh* *faceplam* I want someone to talk about this situation I’m going through, and that understands about witchcraft and curse jobs and Archangels and divine hierarchy and doesn’t think I’m insane nor just humours me… I NEED A KINDRED SOUL! This is absurd… I have people that I can speak about and I can’t… what the fuck are we playing, life?

Bleh, whatever, I have so much to say, but will it change something? No.

Blegh, blegh, blegh… whatever…

 

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Next year will be the BLAST

September, 22. 2014 10:37 am

I went to a really nice lady that reads Tarot. I know I never have to much faith, but right now I’m so hopelessly hoping that I never lose faith, what has been predicted is going to come, no matter what. I want this to be truth like nothing before. The cards opened, without me asking or anything, and I didn’t even had this in my mind. To skittish about the black magical attack I suffered… I’m hoping that is a thing of the past, also. But the point is, this lady tells me, out of the blue and out of nowhere; that she sees me emigrating next year, period. This is already in movement and next year, I’m away and happily in another country. Where? It was not stated. I threw some options, none where confirmed, but it’s a destination I will LOVE. Gods… I want this so badly, my heart inflates with only thinking about it! She told me I would be extremely productive, I would find love; I would finally have my so sought Group of Friends. I decree this will be. I’m silent and in a cooperative state.

Because I’m always going to heaven, crying. I’m searching another Great Card Reading, to get the confirmation to what I’ve already been told. Hey! The more you tell something, the quicker it becomes true, innit? This Psychic I found, scares me a little, because It seems to focus too much on everything that is wrong, but I supposed,  I was told everything that is good, now I need the stones in my way to dodge them, like a sir! MATRIX style.

Some things that I knew, where confirmed, which relieves me and puts me in a uncomfortable position at the same time. I’m not sure if I wanted to be wrong. But the truth is that I’m seldom wrong. What can I tell you? This sensation is too strong to be my imagination. And I am one of those people that the more you push, the harder I will resist the push. I don’t know… ORZ « that’s my emoticon respecting this situation.

I’m ridiculously curious where the money will come for me to go away. Well, I have many ideas, but I see many of them too far away, never you mind. Silent and cooperative is the MOTTO.

Apparently I will be invited to a wedding (?) that threw my off centre.

I will also enter in a short relationship with a woman, whom I have not met, yet; before emigrating. This woman will be not so Spiritual as I am, but she will be in this world. I’m not sure if the Lady was referring that she will not be as “powerful” as I am… but… that comes difficult, unless I partner myself with another Archangel or something? I’m still on the fence with that one… when I see my power present on me, I shall believe… but these things are usually on reserve. Believe to See, oh life…

I will recover and my spiritual power, SOON.

All the Karmas I have been battling with these Dearly Beloveds will be settled.

There is a woman in my life, whom loves me; on a platonic way, very much. I’m still thinking whom can that be. Hey UNIVERSE! I need confirmation or explanation about this two women that appeared in the cards. Are the ones I think they are? I don’t have many options, anyway.

Other things were told, but they don’t need to be put in here. I have them present and I have my eyes open!

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Urgh…

September, 18. 2014 4:19 am

How curious it is that it’s only when I’m in their company that I go anywhere? And I’m not particularly speaking of “going” physically… usually in my every day life I’m just… stuck here. It’s the interaction that shot me off to the metaphorical skies. It is very annoying, I want to be always in the middle, it’s really easy to go trough this stupid ultra-dense life while not being totally here… but so far, it only happens while I’m with them. The rest? Nothing. Actually, it worsens the longer I am around. Well, I say it worsen, but for me I should say “it gets better”, but you know what I mean, and if you don’t… well, I know what I mean.

Apparently I was the victim of “brujería” yeah, there is not really a word for it in English and victim is such a inappropriate name. Trust me, witchcraft is NOT the same thing. The curious thing is, I barely have friends… where the hell did I put the enemies if I don’t get out of my room seventy per cent of the time? Well, if everything goes according to plan, this should be a bad memory of the past. I might even be able to forget it… it was pretty normal, or maybe I just caught to it quickly. Apparently it was the second.  I still don’t believe the attack was directed to me, directly, but weirder things have happened in this universe.

I’m tired and cold… but it seems the whims of life never ends x.x. I really don’t like playing without knowing all the rules, the participants and the judges… it makes me absurdly uncomfortable.

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Mabon’s gate spread

September, 12. 2014 10:21 pm

I did the Mabon’s Gate spread with my tarot… as you might have noticed by the title. It was very funny and also very spot on, though I didn’t get all the cards to speak to me, so I’m researching, which is what you are going to see below.

1. What is my goal?

The King of Wands: not sure what this mean. But it represent a good omen… according to the meaning of the card. Spiritually it means I’m well into my “path”. It also tells me I’m trying to hard, well… thanks for that… yeah, sarcasm Sheldon… I guess a new and original approach is coming, like “In general”? I don’t know… this first cards didn’t talk to me too clear. Yeah, they usually talk, literally, out loud… let’s be inspired! Oh, I really despise the suit of wands… it also can be to become a leader? A spiritual leader? I can hold my life and you want me to hold others? *LAUGH* that’s funny.

2.What is blocking me from reaching this goal?

The Queen of Pentacles: if only this had a cup instead of pentacles I would have a clear reading, but… let’s see what we get. WAIT is we joined the first cards and the next card is the High Priestess… give me a minute. It means that I’m dissociating myself? Or their are energies occulted? Nopes, this makes no sense. A nurturing woman that is working as the questioner? Well, I throw the question to the universe, what the fuck this card mean? I suppose it will come, sooner or later.

3. The ways in which I  unconsciously block myself?

The High Priestess: I put in my notebook that I’m letting myself be defeated by my hidden traumas and deliriums, but I’m not sure if that is the real answer, but I’m pretty sure it is… this Archangel business has my knickers in a twist. It makes sense the “You do nothing, so nothing happen.” Well~ excuse me while I continue to be stuck in here… ASDFFGHJJKL! What the hell can I do? Go away from home where the Earth is falling apart? Yeah, thank you so much for that, jerks… or that I’m not trusting myself enough and I’m searching for too much external validation? Urgh… yeah, I might be guilty of this… but it’s kinda hard… and recently I have not had much more options… I saw “Patience” guilty as charge, ask me anything, but patience… it’s not my strongest suit. I don’t know… Oh, I had a nightmare, which I’m pretty sure it means I feel powerless in my surroundings, maybe this is it?

4. What I have already accomplished?

The Lovers: these ambiguous cards of maybes, kill me… THEY KILL ME DEAD, YA HEAR ME?! “When the student is ready the Master appears!” I highly dislike you all! Apparently I have made up my mind spiritually? Well the hell this card ain’t meaning anything related to conventional love :S or I am torn between to paths… this card sucks for me to interpret SO MUCH. ALRIGHT UNIVERSE! Tell me what this means! A little help HERE! Why can I never see my accomplished? Hello, I’m alive… that means I have accomplished something, right? I put in the notebook that my accomplishments have been so far ephemeral, but whatever… I’m not sure what is the real answer.

5. What helped me accomplish it?

3 of Pentacles: Whatever it was that I accomplished it was accomplished with Hard Work? This was the first thing I reached for, but apparently it usually means: Team Work, which I normally suck at and also I have taken great consideration of all the steps I have made so far. It also tells me I’m on the right path, again. Give the devil his due? Like… really metaphorical… I’m surrounded by Angels and Archangels of light and love and… I normally end with light poisoning… don’t ask. But I guess a lot of people, from my point of view, took me here? #ploplo

6. How have I helped myself?

The Hermit: another card that told me NOTHING AT ALL. But, I supposed with introspection? I know that is what this card mean. I looked inside? Apparently I have had indirect teachers that have helped me all around. Agreed. I dislike these types of teachers, but alright… “Looking for the answer within” *chuckles* “To be your own mentor” *more chuckles*

7.  The way my goal is received by others?

The Devil: Oh look…  I have so much to say about this, but I won’t.  So, other people are seeing my goals as something bad and unhealthy? Well, it sucks to be you, judgemental people, this is who I am… it’s not like I can change it or something. Thank you, I love you. I can’t really blame them… it’s the “Master, Master” energy, there is no much else I can do about that. Everything I do will be focused in this light, like… no pun intended, because… yeah, I will now go and rest in the bed I made. Why not? Humans!

8. Who will benefit from my idea?

Prince of Pentacles: Another card that told me NOTHING. But apparently here I’m represented as man, or not… I don’t know. This should be myself, right? I think this is myself, if it’s not, I have not idea, for cereal…

9. How I can re-visualize my idea?

5 of Cups:  At first this card put me out a little. I mean… this is a pretty BAD card, but I also discovered it has a ‘nice’ side. too.  Apparently it means rebirth, but where I found the information this was not re-visualize, so. I need another meaning, but what I had put down, was that after so many tears and blood and suffering some good will come. I suppose I have to be more positive? *urgh*  “All is not lost” “Focus on the present and the future” Well… I hardly focus on the past. Not to cry over spilt milk, GOOD ADVICE. Now I have just to practice what I preach or what I predict *BA DUM TSS* sorry, bad joke. HOPE, have HOPE, have FAITH! urgh… yey! My two favourite things… no.

10. The next step?

The Judgement: A change of dimension or life? Exploring new spiritual ideas? Salvation, apparently.

11. The key which will unlock the door to achievement?

8 of Cups: Let go and go with the flow.

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I’m still waiting for the fucking change

September, 08. 2014 6:39 am

How fucking curios is the fact that I was the most happy human being in this planet while none of the annoyance in my life where around me! Yep! I even forgot the existed, and they come back and everything gets fucked up again and don’t tell me I am fucking vibrational match to those fucking rats from the sewers BECAUSE I’M NOT. How can I be when their existence doesn’t even registers when they are not around me? I’m so mad, GOD by now I am willing to go to jail, only if I get to poison them all, I don’t need to get my hands, literally dirty.

It’s not that they turn on the A/C, NOT, they can SHOVE THE FUCKING A/C IN THEIR FUCKING NAKED ARSE! It’s the fucking principle for the mother’s sake I tried I swear I tried to be fucking Zen about this, but are you fucking kidding me? How? How? What else can I ask for this stupid situation to solve, how many times do I have to apologise for something I didn’t do? DAMN IT, by no I’m even fucking willing to let myself fall and fucking curse them? How hard can it be, consequence be damned, to achieve making them feel half of the fucking indignation and half of the uncomfortable feelings I have felt since this people came into my life. I don’t care anymore if I lose the incarnation, I’ll just not graduate or that another imbecile takes this, instead of me, because FUCK YOU, how many times do I have to weather successfully a situation so it doesn’t happen any more? And to the whims of whom is the grade of that test?

Honestly! I HAVE DESIRE THEM ALL THE EVIL I CAN AND NOTHING HAPPENS! THEY GO AROUND PRANCING IN THEIR FUCKING LIVES, NOT EVEN REALISING THEY ARE JUST DIRTY INSECTS!?

Fuck, and I can send all to the metaphorical hell but the truth is that it really doesn’t matter how much I try, the thing will still incense me *growl from the diaphragm*, right now if I knew how to curse people I would do it: to the last consequences, powers be damned if I can take them all to the fucking grave… twenty five years, TWENTY-FIVE?! HOW MUCH LONGER!? They are the root of all my evils! And I know this will appear later on in my life, but at least it will be slightly different and it will be to directly screw with my personal life.

Honestly, I hope they all have a horrible day just as I just had a horrible wake up. This is no way to wake up, especially when they are just fucking dreaming about fucking sheep. I don’t have a strong enough insult I can say to sate my soul.

You see what I ask? After asking to know how to fucking solve the issue and what do I have to learn? That they are taken! Anywhere I don’t care where, to spit in my face that it be to Denmark or London, while I’m stuck here in this miserable god’s forsaken land! BUT SOMETHING, because this cannot be possible.

This situation have YEARS in the making, and asking for the issue to solve has been months… and nothing have changes! And do you ask me WHY the fuck do I lose faith? Story of my fucking life. Oh, fucking forget it… I won’t even bother to tell this will stay the same, because whatever. EVERYTHING JUST GO TO THE FUCKING HELL TO SEE HOW MUCH YOU LIKE IT! GAH!

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Does it?

September, 01. 2014 10:56 am

AHHH! So that’s what they meant? The fact that when I was born, I was the only one, in every way and suddenly, fast forwarding some time; then more ‘things’ began to arrive and then, I, myself, alone, because apparently that’s something that I felt and “never happened”. I felt like being left aside and desperation it’s a very powerful thing and rebelliousness it’s just something I’m good at? Curious, if this microbe I am in here, the situation is half of what really happened. Sure, right now: or I forced myself to forget or I really don’t care as much or simply I can’t really obsess in anyway about anything; anymore, which is the main cause of my “Never Finish Anything” issue. Things simply stop being as shiny as they were when we first did it. Sure there was a “Navel Program” in my soul, but I think there was a “Lost in Translation” stuff, because if I was the one whom told everybody: just let that shit as it is right now and get over it. It shouldn’t affect me, like it affected the millions of minions working for whomever it was in charge of this shit.

But, returning to the subject I wanted to write about it, I always derail… and why would that be? *sarcasm*

Anyway… the picture is this: ‘believed’ unloved and… that seems to be a very destructive force, someone comes, directly or not and I decided to throw myself down that rift? So desperately willingly? Well, that prospect suck, I don’t feel like I am an easy to manipulate person, but maybe I always feel so unloved that I am, or maybe not unloved, just ‘To Belong’ do you know what I mean? The quid of the problem is I want to belong and I don’t care which group is that. Sure, I can be all the BELOVED, everybody wants, but to actually feel like you “belong” or be fully “accepted”. I’m not explaining this shit like it is. Oh! Words… you fail me once, again. I smacked my little finger against the door’s threshold and then my computer died on me… it worried me for a second. I’m not planning on going anywhere today, anyway… so I should be safe of any announced catastrophe. Maybe…

The issue with that theory is that I don’t really needed to be manipulated and according to the theory, whomever tried to do it, should have known that… I mean… my Good/Bad Compass is sort of screwed and with telling me: “Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies.” I would have gone, willingly. Because, why not? I mean, I don’t, apparently; feel appreciated on this side… do you think I won’t go, easily, to taste the other one? How about I do infinite headdesks? Looking back to my microcosm hologram… that man, after doing some fancy tricks, tells me to go and steal with him… I don’t think I would have said no. The more I think about this problem, the more Ego I feel developing and more stupid I feel about myself and the situation. Let me finish watching this video and come back to write this shit, to see if my perspective is, at least, a bit different…

Alright, back.

What was I talking about? Never mind… you know what? I’m cured from my ulcer, but now I can’t eat fast food or that kind of food, because apparently I don’t land… don’t try to understand, it’s complicated and have to be with souls… I also brought a mini-broom and a mini-dustpan… one works, the other… I have to make it work, but for the price, I’m ok with its kink. Too bad I didn’t catch the stuff early, ’cause I wanted the rainbow one. At least I got zebra and not something brown and ugly. T^T I miss being capable of eating on Mcdonnals and feeling like your stomach is going to run away from you. I also want more water, but that means, going down the stairs and… the stomp on my foot, was graver than I thought XD. The shit was hilarious when it happened, though.

Yes, I changed the subject on purpose, because, never you mind, que-sera-sera and whatever bullshit we have to eat to go through this live with minimum trauma.

Rain, Rain, RAIN I CALL THE FORWARD! MUAHAHAHAHAHA *Suppa’ evul laugh*

Also: allow me to snigger at all the life inconsistencies and people’s words inconsistencies, that I won’t bother to point out, because really… you are throwing stones? I just laugh at you while you do that and notice your mistakes all bared for my to see. Deeply amused.

Sincerely me, L.

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this has been archived under: Musings, note to self, Spiritual Road (Race)

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Miscelánea

August, 31. 2014 9:33 pm

Apparently, a disaster is going to come… and not only for us, but even if it will commence here, it will drag along the entire world.

Just kidding, maybe…

I have been waiting this type of disaster and don’t misunderstand, I’m not speaking of the Apocalypse, even if the horsemen already roam Earth, it’s different… and the same way my wants of writing this post came, they went away, I think I’m still too tired to properly put this into words.

I have no voice right now and how difficult is to defend oneself without a voice, kudos for those mute people and may my voice returns in haste. I don’t feel comfortable without it. I don’t normally speak, but that is a personal preference, not a necessity.

I don’t know what I really want, I notice, constantly. It’s curious now when I don’t even want to die, I suppose I want to stay home and be always slouched in my bed, except you know, that makes your skin melts with the sheets and your mind in a constant state of: “what the hell are you doing?” But yeah, that would probably be my honest answer if anybody asks…

As such thing borders in the improbably territory: I want a half day job with full pay, a small flat in the highest floor possible; an alien cat, telekinetic powers; a comfortable to my standards relationship, better with two people so I can’t get bored of xyr, all the answers of the universe and to enter the Akashic Records, because why not?

I don’t think I have been called a spoiled and easy to manipulate child so many times before, or never really, recently that is all I hear, it’s kind of funny and partially insulted and maybe even accurate, but nobody ever would want to admit to that and WTF? seriously… I have never been the kind of capricious little brat I have been called recently. In a temper tantrum? Alright, sure I can enter in one of those, but I can’t really remember having been prone to them, beyond the normal and rarely usual infantile temper-trantrum, but what do I know?

But maybe it has been my evolution to where I am today and now I simply feel exahusting to go against the current… I still think a certain way, but you know what? Just screw it. Urgh… I don’t even know what to tells anybody anymore, right now I just feel like putting a blindfold in my eyes and tell the Universe, alright, take the wheel… What? I might crash? Tough luck…

Maybe it’s just time to go to sleep again? Probably, especially because I’m contemplating and fuming against about the fact we are all speshul and what’s the point? Fuck it, I will just find a job as a street sweeper. It’s not like it matter if I’m the best at anything when they are a lot of best at anything out there. They endless of the Universe sometimes also pisses me off, but that might be just me.

Bah! I’m rambling just ignore me while I go to sleep, tomorrow this silliness will probably just go away…

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this has been archived under: Daily Basis

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